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Jordan Gandhi's avatar

We have some larger families in our parish, and we know that the kids get a little less attention when the parents’ time is divided so many ways. We do little things like offer rides and really try to talk to them on the way- what did you learn today at school? And so on. We want to cultivate the types of relationships that if these kids have questions in their adolescence, we can be another trusted adult in their lives when they are inclined to dismiss their parents’ values. My husband does the same so perhaps that’s not parent-specific.

Once I was at a women’s conference on the Feminine Genius, and the subject of being a mother to all you meet came up. During the Mass, my baby was fussy so I went to the vestibule and there was a homeless man who asked where the food bank was. I ended up mostly ignoring the Mass to speak to him, and learned that he and his wife had been homeless due to a fire and needing subsequent medical care. I told him after Mass ended, I could connect him with someone at the parish who would have more information. He left and came back with his wife, and we gave them food for free. The sisters who run the food bank (on limited days) ran over and got them some more food and some blankets. I paid for the registration of the woman so that she could come in where it was warmer and hear the end of the conference talks, and she stayed afterward to speak to the priest. I could tell that one of the sisters (from a more conservative background and more familiar) was a little more jaded, but afterward she realized that in these moments we were welcoming this poor woman in as a mother might. She gave her jacket to woman to keep her warm, and I gave them some money to be able to buy a tent. They were clearly a couple in need of help, but we tried not only to provide for their physical needs but to make them feel welcomed and included.

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Norann Voll's avatar

When I lost my biological mother at the age of one, a friend of the family called Christel stepped in to support my recently widowed father. She became a mother to all of us children, and stayed with our family for over a decade until she was too disabled to help us because of MS. Christel was an important part of our wedding parties as we grew older and got married, and each one of our children became her grandchildren. She continues to be an inspiration to me that mothering can happen in deep and amazing ways without any biological connection.

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