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Sophia Feingold's avatar

In terms of activism or service for women (this wouldn't apply to babies) that I and more prochoice people could agree on, I recently learned about a group called Support After Abortion that does exactly what the name suggests: it puts women who've had bad experiences with abortions in touch with resources to help their emotional recovery. The focus is on emotional healing/wellbeing for women who've already had a difficult experience with their reproductive decisions, and who are NOT involved in a church or another religious group that might help them resolve what they are feeling. (SAA did a recent study on this, which suggests that about a third of women who've undergone pill abortions had negative changes in their attitude towards abortion/themselves--a minority, but not a negligible one.)

In terms of my own family planning (which is in cooperation with my husband), I have had four pregnancies with various healthcare professionals, and never (mostly for geographic reasons) been able to do it with a doctor or midwife who trusts me/us to be able to make good decisions in this regard. I usually end up having to explain Marquette (the method we use) two or three times during pre-and post-natal care and turn down multiple other offers for other contraception, including the offer to have my tubes tied. On the one hand--I get why healthcare professionals keep asking: it's part of what they are supposed to do, like checking weight and taking blood pressure. Also, we have four kids who are close in age! But on the other hand, it gets tiring to explain the method, explain that no, none of these children were mistakes, explain that yes, I absolutely can do this post-partum and we can handle the abstinence ... and still get met with a skeptical, incredulous, "Well, if you really think that's what you want ..." It feels a little infantilizing. But on the other hand yet again, it is the job of a healthcare professional to take care of their patients/clients. It is just very difficult to do that in a respectful way when there are some deeply shared values that aren't held in common--because the doctor and patient each think they know what is best for the patient, and the gap is not one of technical knowledge, ultimately, but of ethics.

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Ivana Greco's avatar

Such a good article, Leah, and I really appreciate your attention to this issue. I know friends who have had trouble getting their IUD out for the most benign of reasons, such as that their OB's office was very busy, and there just was no appointment available for a month or two, or their OB wanted to schedule a "pre-conception counseling" visit before removing the IUD when a woman had decided to try for a pregnancy. This seems minor, but for a woman in her thirties (or really at whatever age) any wait once the decision has been made to try for a baby can be really hard.

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