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Jenny F.'s avatar

My greatest fear as a teen was unwanted pregnancy from being assaulted. I was a homeschooled evangelical and I was deeply afraid of what people would think of me given our church's emphasis on purity. I was afraid of being visibly female in public; my mom had me wear a lot of large skirts, dresses, and oversized garments to try to hide my shape. I know many women raised the same way with the same story; the female form is assumed to be a stumbling block for men and it's your job to safeguard their eyes. This complicated my relationship with my husband, unnecessarily.

I am now a mother, and a Christian - but a progressive sort. I observe a few things now that I move in both "liberal" (metro workplace, progressive liberal colleagues) and "conservative" (many old friends, some family) circles.

Some conservatives (theological, political) are both openly and secretly preoccupied with policing physical appearance, grooming habits, and overall surveillance and control of the female form. Some conservative women I knew growing up put a premium on this; womanhood is white, slender, groomed, affluent, "the angel in the household". I say "some" because this is a generalization. It's what I observed.

But, I think liberal women are far more likely to *perceive* harassment or negative surveillance of their forms in public. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been harassed. For some women I know, they say it's almost every time they go into public. I think we interpret behaviors differently. I don't mind friendly catcalls of appreciation, if they're in daylight hours in well-populated areas. Honestly, I find them flattering.

I work in a female-dominated workplace that's very friendly to babies and families. I don't feel I need to hide or adapt my body to fit in. I am lucky; I know that's not the case for, e.g. service industry.

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Barbara James's avatar

I suppose makeup is one, the pandemic did it for me, not having to dress up and go anywhere, although for a while I put on makeup for Zoom calls.

Another one? I gradually began tossing out my bottles of nail polish. I used to polish my nails, but then it got to be too much. I'm always cooking and cleaning, and I don't want pieces of polish falling off while I work.

Moreover, polishing one's nails always seemed to be such a frivolous thing, of being a woman of luxury who doesn't do any kind of manual labor.

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