Baby bouncers, swings, swaddles, swaddle transition pieces, bassinets, etc... they all take up a ton of space and they're SO important for... about three months. So of course these get lent and given and "please please get this out of my basement"-ed. Some friends and I have been talking about organizing a lending library. We don't have a warehouse to store it all, but we're thinking of doing a spreadsheet with columns for... the item, who it actually belongs to, who has it right now, how long it's good for (e.g. newborn to 4m?), and when that person's baby is due/born. Then if you're like "my baby is due in early December and I'm cold but I don't want to spend $$$ on a maternity coat and wear it for a week" you can look at the spreadsheet and find out that, say, Marcella currently has Jenny's maternity coat and Marcella had her baby six months ago, so I guess she probably doesn't neet it anymore and I can text her and ask.
We haven't actually executed this, so if anyone has done something like this, I am very open to ideas!
I love this so much. A local babywearing group near me has a lending library, but I don’t know of anything as broad as this. I honestly kind of think I’d be down to organize something like this in my area…
One thing that immediately comes to mind to plan for is cleaning. Maybe each item can have an attached guide: run this through the wash before returning it / wipe down with surface cleaner / etc. Also a $ value on the guide for the inevitable failure to return scenario. You might reference the guidelines/setup at your local public library if they have a Library of Things. I wonder if a “centrally owned by the group” model would be more practical than an “actually belongs to so-and-so” model…but then you do have to deal with storage…idk. Just spitballing, hope this is somewhat helpful and not annoying!
those are good ideas! I like the "centrally owned by the group" idea but a lot of us already have a bunch of things in our basements and attics and garages. And I imagine other issues like, "The group owns a Moby and a ring sling, but my SIL was visting for a week and I really like the Bjorn carrier she brought for the week. I'm 3 weeks postpartum and pitching to the group that we collectively decide whether we want to all pitch in and buy a Bjorn."
The cleaning and the "plan for replacement" ideas are great though! We already have an informal group of friends that lends around, and our idea was to get that more organized so we don't miss things. There were lots of times with my littles that I thought "I wish I had x particular item, or I want to try using y particular item, but I don't want to spend $50 on it." If I had that thought, and then also thought "Oh, Cecilia has one, and her kids are old enough that she's definitely not using it. I'll see if I can borrow it" then I would have actually have the item, which would have been nice. I think it would be different if we were planning to include people that we didn't know at all.
My husband has a new job (a good thing!) but after four years of remote work, thinking he wouldn't have to go back to a commute, the new job is fully and only in-person. We are committed to being a one car family. (Everything is choices and trade-offs, this is the one we chose.) School has started for our eldest (a Catholic classical school we love). There's much to be thankful for AND I feel like a taxi driver. Some days the baby and I are only home in one hour blocks. Luckily, he's super chill.
My best friend (two blocks away with five kids) and my mom (on my street) have both been so generous to have regular 40ish minute playdates for my eldest so she can skip the extra car trip most nights to go pick up Daddy. I am thankful for this new support!
Here's a totally different take on the "spreading out the load" question. Having successfully navigated the baby stage (our youngest is 30) my husband and I are now at an age where our friends are beginning to die. We are wondering whether among our Catholic friends, there is going to be a place for helping each other navigate the logistical and the faith challenges that come with age. We are calling it "seeing each other to the door." I have never heard discussion of this concept, but I have begun to realize that there are a lot of things that people over 70 never discuss with younger friends, so maybe this is an old game that I am just joining.
I'm your kids age and I would love to be part of this conversation! There are retirees who help with our adoration co op for young moms (part of my ongoing effort to un-silo the various demographic groups at the parish) and I keep trying to think of how I can serve them. Just today in the parish nursery I told a senior woman (who has babysat for me) that I'd love to come help her garden if she does fall gardening. I could totally bring my little kids to her front yard and have them throw weeds around while I help.
What a lovely approach you are taking! I thought of writing on this because in a way, the support for people at this end of life began to feel similar to the pregnant and young mom stage - sudden odd bodily realities that the doctor assures you are quite normal, a need for helpful friends with meals when the going gets too tough, and an unstoppable forward progression to an irrevocable change. Birth to this world is one thing, birth to the next world is another, but they are oddly similar at times.
Also, love your meal train-ing. Well done making and sending out meals with a three month old! I defaulted to Costco prepared meals for all the meal trains for many months following the birth of my baby (and there were a lot of meal trains, 15 babies born last year in my community! Mostly boys!)
I joke that we live in a promiscuous Tupperware community. With all the babies and meal trains, everyone's Tupperwares *get around.* 👀
I am always impressed by people who can get it together to do a meal train. I don't trust myself to commit to a particular day, so I make soup (etc) and freeze it in souper cubes and tell the mom she now has homemade microwaveable lunch.
I'd love to do the Edith Stein reading group. I love her so much. But sadly it's too early in the evening for me to be able to commit to. The only zoom meeting I can do regularly meets at 9pm, which is too late for many people, but doable for me because it's after all my kid duties are done for the day. Oh well. Someday maybe I'll get back to reading her again.
Yep, I would say the time doesn’t work for me, but I think I’m just in a phase of life where scheduled discussions don’t work for me, but I’m bookmarking the Hildebrand project for the future, because this reading group sounds awesome.
One of the needs which has been weighing on me the most lately has been the number of abused kids in my town, who are /known/ to be abused (not even the ones whose parents are so concerned about appearances that they try to hide it) and for whom nobody does anything. You can call the police and they /might/ come down, but there's a shortage of foster parents so they just leave them there. I don't meet the qualifications to foster anyone, so I have to trust that my praying for the kids will bear fruit I can't see.
I've been asking for help in that I'm recognizing that my current work schedule doesn't leave me enough leftover energy to be a good steward of my apartment, and working with my boss to rearrange it. This is new for me --- I grew up having it hammered into me that you never show weakness at work.
Baby bouncers, swings, swaddles, swaddle transition pieces, bassinets, etc... they all take up a ton of space and they're SO important for... about three months. So of course these get lent and given and "please please get this out of my basement"-ed. Some friends and I have been talking about organizing a lending library. We don't have a warehouse to store it all, but we're thinking of doing a spreadsheet with columns for... the item, who it actually belongs to, who has it right now, how long it's good for (e.g. newborn to 4m?), and when that person's baby is due/born. Then if you're like "my baby is due in early December and I'm cold but I don't want to spend $$$ on a maternity coat and wear it for a week" you can look at the spreadsheet and find out that, say, Marcella currently has Jenny's maternity coat and Marcella had her baby six months ago, so I guess she probably doesn't neet it anymore and I can text her and ask.
We haven't actually executed this, so if anyone has done something like this, I am very open to ideas!
I love this so much. A local babywearing group near me has a lending library, but I don’t know of anything as broad as this. I honestly kind of think I’d be down to organize something like this in my area…
One thing that immediately comes to mind to plan for is cleaning. Maybe each item can have an attached guide: run this through the wash before returning it / wipe down with surface cleaner / etc. Also a $ value on the guide for the inevitable failure to return scenario. You might reference the guidelines/setup at your local public library if they have a Library of Things. I wonder if a “centrally owned by the group” model would be more practical than an “actually belongs to so-and-so” model…but then you do have to deal with storage…idk. Just spitballing, hope this is somewhat helpful and not annoying!
those are good ideas! I like the "centrally owned by the group" idea but a lot of us already have a bunch of things in our basements and attics and garages. And I imagine other issues like, "The group owns a Moby and a ring sling, but my SIL was visting for a week and I really like the Bjorn carrier she brought for the week. I'm 3 weeks postpartum and pitching to the group that we collectively decide whether we want to all pitch in and buy a Bjorn."
The cleaning and the "plan for replacement" ideas are great though! We already have an informal group of friends that lends around, and our idea was to get that more organized so we don't miss things. There were lots of times with my littles that I thought "I wish I had x particular item, or I want to try using y particular item, but I don't want to spend $50 on it." If I had that thought, and then also thought "Oh, Cecilia has one, and her kids are old enough that she's definitely not using it. I'll see if I can borrow it" then I would have actually have the item, which would have been nice. I think it would be different if we were planning to include people that we didn't know at all.
Good luck tonight!
We're transitioning to a new season here too.
My husband has a new job (a good thing!) but after four years of remote work, thinking he wouldn't have to go back to a commute, the new job is fully and only in-person. We are committed to being a one car family. (Everything is choices and trade-offs, this is the one we chose.) School has started for our eldest (a Catholic classical school we love). There's much to be thankful for AND I feel like a taxi driver. Some days the baby and I are only home in one hour blocks. Luckily, he's super chill.
My best friend (two blocks away with five kids) and my mom (on my street) have both been so generous to have regular 40ish minute playdates for my eldest so she can skip the extra car trip most nights to go pick up Daddy. I am thankful for this new support!
That “how do I not schlep all the children everywhere” problem is such a great thing to have help with!
Here's a totally different take on the "spreading out the load" question. Having successfully navigated the baby stage (our youngest is 30) my husband and I are now at an age where our friends are beginning to die. We are wondering whether among our Catholic friends, there is going to be a place for helping each other navigate the logistical and the faith challenges that come with age. We are calling it "seeing each other to the door." I have never heard discussion of this concept, but I have begun to realize that there are a lot of things that people over 70 never discuss with younger friends, so maybe this is an old game that I am just joining.
I'm your kids age and I would love to be part of this conversation! There are retirees who help with our adoration co op for young moms (part of my ongoing effort to un-silo the various demographic groups at the parish) and I keep trying to think of how I can serve them. Just today in the parish nursery I told a senior woman (who has babysat for me) that I'd love to come help her garden if she does fall gardening. I could totally bring my little kids to her front yard and have them throw weeds around while I help.
What a lovely approach you are taking! I thought of writing on this because in a way, the support for people at this end of life began to feel similar to the pregnant and young mom stage - sudden odd bodily realities that the doctor assures you are quite normal, a need for helpful friends with meals when the going gets too tough, and an unstoppable forward progression to an irrevocable change. Birth to this world is one thing, birth to the next world is another, but they are oddly similar at times.
Also, love your meal train-ing. Well done making and sending out meals with a three month old! I defaulted to Costco prepared meals for all the meal trains for many months following the birth of my baby (and there were a lot of meal trains, 15 babies born last year in my community! Mostly boys!)
I joke that we live in a promiscuous Tupperware community. With all the babies and meal trains, everyone's Tupperwares *get around.* 👀
I really need to get more of those aluminum pans that I can just send out to their new life
Some folks stock up on casserole dishes at the thrift store, too, but I’ve had trouble finding 9x13s so far
I've got two extra 13x9s that I can't get rid of. You don't happen to live in the Boston area, do you?
Alas, no :(
I am always impressed by people who can get it together to do a meal train. I don't trust myself to commit to a particular day, so I make soup (etc) and freeze it in souper cubes and tell the mom she now has homemade microwaveable lunch.
That's wonderful!
I'd love to do the Edith Stein reading group. I love her so much. But sadly it's too early in the evening for me to be able to commit to. The only zoom meeting I can do regularly meets at 9pm, which is too late for many people, but doable for me because it's after all my kid duties are done for the day. Oh well. Someday maybe I'll get back to reading her again.
Yep, I would say the time doesn’t work for me, but I think I’m just in a phase of life where scheduled discussions don’t work for me, but I’m bookmarking the Hildebrand project for the future, because this reading group sounds awesome.
Yes, my doing it relies totally on my husband doing solo bedtimes with our girls
One of the needs which has been weighing on me the most lately has been the number of abused kids in my town, who are /known/ to be abused (not even the ones whose parents are so concerned about appearances that they try to hide it) and for whom nobody does anything. You can call the police and they /might/ come down, but there's a shortage of foster parents so they just leave them there. I don't meet the qualifications to foster anyone, so I have to trust that my praying for the kids will bear fruit I can't see.
I've been asking for help in that I'm recognizing that my current work schedule doesn't leave me enough leftover energy to be a good steward of my apartment, and working with my boss to rearrange it. This is new for me --- I grew up having it hammered into me that you never show weakness at work.
@Emily Hawkins great comments/ ideas on this post!
Any chance it was recorded?
Not sure, but I'll share the link if so.