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Julia D.'s avatar

I'm in an online book group led by John Cuddeback that's reading Wendell Berry's book Hannah Coulter. This passage is one I highlighted:

"Like maybe any young woman of that time, I had thought of marriage as promises to be kept until death, as having a house, living together, working together, sleeping together, raising a family. But Virgil’s and my marriage was going to have to be more than that. It was going to have to be part of a place already decided for it, and part of a story begun long ago and going on. The Feltner place had been in that family a long time—since the first white people settled here. Virgil had taken his place, after his father, in the line of those who were gone and those who were to come. It was something I needed to get into my mind. The love he bore to me was his own, but also it was a love that had been borne to him, by people he knew, people I now knew, people he loved. That, I think, was what put tears in his eyes when he looked at me. He must have wondered if I would love those people too. Well, as it turned out, I did. And I would know them as he would never know them, for longer than he knew them. I knew them old, in their final years and days. I know them dead."

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Melanie Bettinelli's avatar

Now that my in-laws are both dead one of thing things I have noticed missing is having someone who regularly greeted me by asking how my parents and siblings are. No one else I see regularly know them or bothers to ask. Of course, being Bostonians, they didn't use y'all, but it did still feel homey to this displaced Southerner.

When I was in college my best friend's mom referred to me as her "favorite daughter" -- though she had two daughters of her own-- and I cherished that status. She trusted me to look after my friend and I was so very honored to be accorded that honorary place in their family.

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