New life and death can also be a part of each other… When my grandfather passed away in 2016, my eldest was only four months old. She traveled with me back to Idaho, as I went home to say goodbye to him. When I got there, he was pretty much unresponsive. But when I held my four-month-old baby up to him, he opened his eyes, smiled, and started talking. He ended up remaining with us for another 72 hours, and got to hold her and talk to her one last time.
The beauty of that moment, of the old dear soul responding to the presence of a brand new young one, has stayed with me ever since. There is something beautiful about those lives intertwining, and blessing each other through their shared presence. And perhaps this is the work that women in particular can help facilitate, as we so often care for both the very old and a very young.
My grandparents weren't embalmed--I think my grandfather decided against it to save money (he also wanted the cheapest coffin available), and we followed the same arrangements for my grandmother when she unexpectedly died shortly afterward. I didn't know not being embalmed was an option before that, but in retrospect I like the decisions they made. I saw them both shortly after their deaths (I'm thankful I was still living near them at that time), and that really was enough. Embalming seems a bit grotesque to me now. It did confuse some people when my grandparents were buried before their official funeral (again, my grandfather's wish), but his plan for the arrangements seems very reasonable, if unorthodox.
(I should add that we did not actually get my grandfather the cheapest coffin. The cheapest looked awful, so we went for the second cheapest, then just got my grandmother the one we thought looked the most appropriate. I'm so grateful to have been able to be present while the arrangements for her were being made. And they were buried in an actual churchyard, although there were restrictions involved in going that route that required their headstone to be in-ground. Which was annoying. We still got the biggest in-ground stone available, though.)
I have been reading about this to learn more. In my small church in Arkansas, we had a bereavement committee and arranged to prepare a meal for the families after the burial. We also encouraged attendance at wakes, visitations and rosary.
New life and death can also be a part of each other… When my grandfather passed away in 2016, my eldest was only four months old. She traveled with me back to Idaho, as I went home to say goodbye to him. When I got there, he was pretty much unresponsive. But when I held my four-month-old baby up to him, he opened his eyes, smiled, and started talking. He ended up remaining with us for another 72 hours, and got to hold her and talk to her one last time.
The beauty of that moment, of the old dear soul responding to the presence of a brand new young one, has stayed with me ever since. There is something beautiful about those lives intertwining, and blessing each other through their shared presence. And perhaps this is the work that women in particular can help facilitate, as we so often care for both the very old and a very young.
My grandparents weren't embalmed--I think my grandfather decided against it to save money (he also wanted the cheapest coffin available), and we followed the same arrangements for my grandmother when she unexpectedly died shortly afterward. I didn't know not being embalmed was an option before that, but in retrospect I like the decisions they made. I saw them both shortly after their deaths (I'm thankful I was still living near them at that time), and that really was enough. Embalming seems a bit grotesque to me now. It did confuse some people when my grandparents were buried before their official funeral (again, my grandfather's wish), but his plan for the arrangements seems very reasonable, if unorthodox.
(I should add that we did not actually get my grandfather the cheapest coffin. The cheapest looked awful, so we went for the second cheapest, then just got my grandmother the one we thought looked the most appropriate. I'm so grateful to have been able to be present while the arrangements for her were being made. And they were buried in an actual churchyard, although there were restrictions involved in going that route that required their headstone to be in-ground. Which was annoying. We still got the biggest in-ground stone available, though.)
I have been reading about this to learn more. In my small church in Arkansas, we had a bereavement committee and arranged to prepare a meal for the families after the burial. We also encouraged attendance at wakes, visitations and rosary.