I wish I had seen this earlier! I have three nieces and a nephew, and many more (actually second cousins) and I also can't imagine my life without them. I actually used to work at a center for homeless kids and was often assigned to the infant classrooms. It was usually very chaotic and left me feeling exhausted and my coworkers asked me if it made me change my mind about having kids, but it actually made me more enthusiastic! That job had me feeling like Bobby in The Florida Project. Limited as his resources were, he was still always so kind, gentle, and protective of the kids.
the benefit of other people's children is not only when they are really young. how about teens? we have 6 bonus kids who came into our lives as teens. they are bonus kids because they lived with us for extended periods under informal circumstances with their biological parents' approval for a variety of reasons. whatever the reasons, they became members of our family. we had 3 kids and didn't really want or need more. but, here they came. they're all boys - now men in their 30's and early 40's. we are still quite close with 3 of them. they all hold a very special place in my heart and our daughter, the youngest of the lot, considers them all brothers. we were fortunate to have the financial means to keep them easily. they bunked all over the house and generally took care of themselves. one boy was particularly grateful for a 10 foot long sofa he appropriated as his twin bed at home was never long enough for his 6 and a half foot long body. we have so many fond memories of these boys. they enriched our lives while we eased their way through some tough times.
Interesting how they note the compartmentalization of the neurological research-- rarely on grands in a family role, typically only research on elders in the scope of dementia and other age-related conditions. So there's a nice interdependence in this recognition that immediate biological parents aren't the only ones with an emotional and social stake in the care and upbringing of children. I wonder how the fMRI would glow for all the aunts and uncles and "found family" on this thread?
Also, partway down the article is a link to the lab of behavioral scientist James Rilling, who focuses on "the lesser-explored neuroscience of fatherhood", which perhaps at least obliquely touches on the question you raise above on where to find good reporting on men as (prospective) parents. I haven't gone down that rabbit hole, but it could be one avenue to explore.
I wish I had seen this earlier! I have three nieces and a nephew, and many more (actually second cousins) and I also can't imagine my life without them. I actually used to work at a center for homeless kids and was often assigned to the infant classrooms. It was usually very chaotic and left me feeling exhausted and my coworkers asked me if it made me change my mind about having kids, but it actually made me more enthusiastic! That job had me feeling like Bobby in The Florida Project. Limited as his resources were, he was still always so kind, gentle, and protective of the kids.
the benefit of other people's children is not only when they are really young. how about teens? we have 6 bonus kids who came into our lives as teens. they are bonus kids because they lived with us for extended periods under informal circumstances with their biological parents' approval for a variety of reasons. whatever the reasons, they became members of our family. we had 3 kids and didn't really want or need more. but, here they came. they're all boys - now men in their 30's and early 40's. we are still quite close with 3 of them. they all hold a very special place in my heart and our daughter, the youngest of the lot, considers them all brothers. we were fortunate to have the financial means to keep them easily. they bunked all over the house and generally took care of themselves. one boy was particularly grateful for a 10 foot long sofa he appropriated as his twin bed at home was never long enough for his 6 and a half foot long body. we have so many fond memories of these boys. they enriched our lives while we eased their way through some tough times.
I came across a link tonight which reminded me of this conversation about extended family and alloparents-- the brain patterns of grandmothers in response to their young grandchildren. https://news.emory.edu/stories/2021/11/esc_grandmothers_brain_reaction_grandchildren_rilling_lee_17-11-2021/campus.html
Interesting how they note the compartmentalization of the neurological research-- rarely on grands in a family role, typically only research on elders in the scope of dementia and other age-related conditions. So there's a nice interdependence in this recognition that immediate biological parents aren't the only ones with an emotional and social stake in the care and upbringing of children. I wonder how the fMRI would glow for all the aunts and uncles and "found family" on this thread?
Also, partway down the article is a link to the lab of behavioral scientist James Rilling, who focuses on "the lesser-explored neuroscience of fatherhood", which perhaps at least obliquely touches on the question you raise above on where to find good reporting on men as (prospective) parents. I haven't gone down that rabbit hole, but it could be one avenue to explore.