Ramp inside house for wheelchair or walker or rollator use, plus grab bars at the top of it, railing along side it. And of course, great grab bars in the bathroom. Bathroom allows for a commode to be placed on top of it. As I recovered from falls and fractures, church members lent me a great walker with wheels, and a neighbor lent me a superb rollator.
I sold my life partner's rollator and many useful accessories after she died (and I found that I could do it without crying too much). But equipment I bought this past year after three falls and fractures, I gave to my church "recovery closet." (By the way, "transfer chairs" usually fit through a bathroom door, and are ideal if you're getting someone from home to a car, and a lot of injuries hurt less when the loved one is stretched out on the back seat with a cushion or two.)
Equipment, occupational and home health therapy, and great first responders are vital, but nothing trumps help from family, friends, and neighbors. My daughter now lives across the driveway from me, and I have neighbors who will help me whenever I need it.
Ooh I love the idea of a “recovery closet”--it sounds like yours stores, eg, crutches that folks no longer need, right? Do you happen to have any details on how to start one? Or I wonder, is there a network of similar efforts?
Ours at church gradually evolved. One of our members lives right across from the church and was storing some equipment there, and meanwhile our priest was storing some in the parish hall basement. And we know which member has the deluxe walker, and which one has the rollator. In fact, two members have rollators they'll lend. When someone's injured, they or someone else notifies the priest and also the member who lives across the street, and texts start flying till everything is taken to the home of the injured person. Before this evolved, I kind of dreamed of a community "closet" -- in a library, perhaps. But libraries have fixed hours, and this is better -- close to 24/7.
A coffee shop near me has ~4 steps and a ramp to its entrance--but the ramp is built into the landscaping, a gently sloping brick-paved path with plants growing along all sides of the ramp. (This cafe also has a nice little kids' play corner and is temptingly close to my usual grocery store...) It's beautifully hospitable, and I've been dreaming of making the entrance to our house similarly accessible. I love that the designers of this space have made the accessible/inclusive option the more enticing and apparently more intentional one.
My sister and my mom and I just read Being Mortal, and accommodations that will help my mom stay in her house as she ages are something we discuss often (even though she's super active and healthy at the moment!).
My mom moved states to be near me and now lives nine houses down from me, on the same side of the street, in a walkable neighborhood. We walk to church and the library every week and she can (and does) easily walk to the grocery store, her favorite soup restaurant, her dentist, and to my brother and his family's house.
It's hard to predict what symptoms of aging you'll see presented first, but "not being able to drive anymore" is a common one and an extremely limiting one for people in America (even when it's not because you're old! My brother-in-law moved to NYC straight from college and never got his driver's license until he moved to our city after 2020 and then he had to learn to drive as an adult! A young adult neighbor of ours had a seizure and is seemingly fine now, but can't drive for a year and he gave away his dog and sold his house and moved to an apartment where he could walk to work, it was just too hard to run his life without a car.).
And if you can't drive to your regular activities, like church or book club, often you lose those friends that you used to see regularly, which is additionally isolating.
So when I wanted my mom to live near me, I wanted the "easily walkable by a toddler in all weathers" kind of near me. My toddler runs to Nana's house many times a week, it really is his second home. My husband shovels my mom's driveway, and it's easier for us to do things like that because she's so close. My mom walks most places (and bikes a lot), which, depending on what fails first when she gets older, might mean that some of her routines wouldn't change if she wasn't able to drive (or wasn't able to drive at night).
We're discussing adding a first floor bathroom to her house, and have also discussed making an upstairs room a kitchenette, so that either floor of her house could be a full apartment and she wouldn't need to go between floors without assistance when she's older. My husband and I feel really really strongly about helping her stay in her house and not go to a facility, which we've had poor experiences with, with other family members.
If you want to think about what it means to take care of your parents, watch the 1930s movie Make Way for Tomorrow. You won't forget it quickly!
Wonderful to be able to walk to church, library, grocery store, and more. If I ever have to move to town, I'll be able to have that. Right now, in my '80s, I still live in a little cabin in the woods. But when I had no car, before my daughter moved nearby, friends, neighbors, and people from my church drove me where I needed to go.
Maybe this is off-topic, but the built world is not very welcoming to me because I am left-handed.
In some ways, it's easier to be left-handed than perhaps it's ever been before, since left-handers are now less likely to be forced to write right-handed and since there are more items or devices available for left-handed or ambidextrous use. But many things, including computer mice, guitars, and even the french fry scoops at fast-food joints, are still designed for right-handed use by default, and finding a left-handed version of a product can still take more time and cost more money than using the "standard" right-handed version.
Is anyone else in the Other Feminisms Community left-handed?
My MIL, my husband, and my 3yo son are left-handed. My MIL says I should teach him to do certain things right-handed: mainly scissors, because unless you bring them yourself you won't reliably have access to left-handed scissors, but also knitting and other things where he'd follow a pattern with an image, because it's hard to mentally flip it around. But with things like writing and eating, she said there's no harm in using his left hand. My husband prefers a particular type of bic pen: he says that many pens don't work well for left-handers, because left-handers push the pen while right-handers pull the pen, and not every pen has good inkflow for pushing.
My son is only 3yo so it's still pretty early. What are your thoughts on this?
I think it's best to allow and encourage left-handed children to use their left hands as their dominant hands whenever possible. My mom is left-handed, and I'm very grateful that she knew what it was like and never tried to teach or force me to use my right hand where it didn't feel natural.
I've found that I can usually use craft scissors or paper-cutting scissors fine if the blades are straight and the handles are symmetrical, and those scissors are easy to find in stationery stores or departments. The only scissors I ever had trouble with were fabric-cutting or sewing scissors that were more clearly designed for either right-handed or left-handed use (I worked at a fabric store once, and there was only 1 pair of left-handed scissors at the fabric-cutting counter that I had to find when it was my turn to cut fabric.)
I have never tried to knit or crochet, so I don't have advice from personal experience there, but I've met left-handed knitters who found YouTube videos and patterns on the internet that met their needs.
You know, my MIL does a lot of sewing and other crafting, so I wonder if that is part of what influenced her thoughts on this! She also would have used more books than youtube, just because of her generation. I'm not myself left-handed so I don't have the experience, and I'm trying to figure out how to balance "you're made this way and that's good!" versus "ok but society isn't made for you so there are some things you're going to have to learn differently." Your perspective here is helpful, thanks.
You’re welcome! Glad I could help. If I ever have left-handed kids, I will encourage them to use their preferred (left) hands when they can. I don’t mind if a left-handed person chooses to do something right-handed themselves (I have a left-handed friend who chose to learn guitar right-handed instead of playing left-handed like me), but I don’t like it when grownups force left-handed kids to use their right hands instead
Do you think there is space for "it's unfortunate but true that society isn't built for people like you, so there are advantages to learning how to do x or y thing right-handed, even though it feels unnatural to you"? (This is where my MIL was coming from with regard to scissors.) Or, in your experience, is that not really an issue (except for minor things, like needing to hunt down LH scissors to cut fabric)?
Something that I want to do to make my apartment more accessible for one of my older friends (in his mid-60's) is to vacuum my living room carpet regularly. This friend suffers from back pain, and it's sometimes more comfortable for him to lie flat on a carpeted floor than it is for him to sit on a chair or couch, so I want my carpet to be clean for him.
Ramp inside house for wheelchair or walker or rollator use, plus grab bars at the top of it, railing along side it. And of course, great grab bars in the bathroom. Bathroom allows for a commode to be placed on top of it. As I recovered from falls and fractures, church members lent me a great walker with wheels, and a neighbor lent me a superb rollator.
I sold my life partner's rollator and many useful accessories after she died (and I found that I could do it without crying too much). But equipment I bought this past year after three falls and fractures, I gave to my church "recovery closet." (By the way, "transfer chairs" usually fit through a bathroom door, and are ideal if you're getting someone from home to a car, and a lot of injuries hurt less when the loved one is stretched out on the back seat with a cushion or two.)
Equipment, occupational and home health therapy, and great first responders are vital, but nothing trumps help from family, friends, and neighbors. My daughter now lives across the driveway from me, and I have neighbors who will help me whenever I need it.
For an excellent book to read, I recommend "My Mother, Your Mother -- Slow Medicine" -- https://www.amazon.com/My-Mother-Your-Embracing-Compassionate/dp/0061243035
Ooh I love the idea of a “recovery closet”--it sounds like yours stores, eg, crutches that folks no longer need, right? Do you happen to have any details on how to start one? Or I wonder, is there a network of similar efforts?
Ours at church gradually evolved. One of our members lives right across from the church and was storing some equipment there, and meanwhile our priest was storing some in the parish hall basement. And we know which member has the deluxe walker, and which one has the rollator. In fact, two members have rollators they'll lend. When someone's injured, they or someone else notifies the priest and also the member who lives across the street, and texts start flying till everything is taken to the home of the injured person. Before this evolved, I kind of dreamed of a community "closet" -- in a library, perhaps. But libraries have fixed hours, and this is better -- close to 24/7.
I love it so much! Thank you for the info!
A coffee shop near me has ~4 steps and a ramp to its entrance--but the ramp is built into the landscaping, a gently sloping brick-paved path with plants growing along all sides of the ramp. (This cafe also has a nice little kids' play corner and is temptingly close to my usual grocery store...) It's beautifully hospitable, and I've been dreaming of making the entrance to our house similarly accessible. I love that the designers of this space have made the accessible/inclusive option the more enticing and apparently more intentional one.
My sister and my mom and I just read Being Mortal, and accommodations that will help my mom stay in her house as she ages are something we discuss often (even though she's super active and healthy at the moment!).
My mom moved states to be near me and now lives nine houses down from me, on the same side of the street, in a walkable neighborhood. We walk to church and the library every week and she can (and does) easily walk to the grocery store, her favorite soup restaurant, her dentist, and to my brother and his family's house.
It's hard to predict what symptoms of aging you'll see presented first, but "not being able to drive anymore" is a common one and an extremely limiting one for people in America (even when it's not because you're old! My brother-in-law moved to NYC straight from college and never got his driver's license until he moved to our city after 2020 and then he had to learn to drive as an adult! A young adult neighbor of ours had a seizure and is seemingly fine now, but can't drive for a year and he gave away his dog and sold his house and moved to an apartment where he could walk to work, it was just too hard to run his life without a car.).
And if you can't drive to your regular activities, like church or book club, often you lose those friends that you used to see regularly, which is additionally isolating.
So when I wanted my mom to live near me, I wanted the "easily walkable by a toddler in all weathers" kind of near me. My toddler runs to Nana's house many times a week, it really is his second home. My husband shovels my mom's driveway, and it's easier for us to do things like that because she's so close. My mom walks most places (and bikes a lot), which, depending on what fails first when she gets older, might mean that some of her routines wouldn't change if she wasn't able to drive (or wasn't able to drive at night).
We're discussing adding a first floor bathroom to her house, and have also discussed making an upstairs room a kitchenette, so that either floor of her house could be a full apartment and she wouldn't need to go between floors without assistance when she's older. My husband and I feel really really strongly about helping her stay in her house and not go to a facility, which we've had poor experiences with, with other family members.
If you want to think about what it means to take care of your parents, watch the 1930s movie Make Way for Tomorrow. You won't forget it quickly!
Wonderful to be able to walk to church, library, grocery store, and more. If I ever have to move to town, I'll be able to have that. Right now, in my '80s, I still live in a little cabin in the woods. But when I had no car, before my daughter moved nearby, friends, neighbors, and people from my church drove me where I needed to go.
Maybe this is off-topic, but the built world is not very welcoming to me because I am left-handed.
In some ways, it's easier to be left-handed than perhaps it's ever been before, since left-handers are now less likely to be forced to write right-handed and since there are more items or devices available for left-handed or ambidextrous use. But many things, including computer mice, guitars, and even the french fry scoops at fast-food joints, are still designed for right-handed use by default, and finding a left-handed version of a product can still take more time and cost more money than using the "standard" right-handed version.
Is anyone else in the Other Feminisms Community left-handed?
My MIL, my husband, and my 3yo son are left-handed. My MIL says I should teach him to do certain things right-handed: mainly scissors, because unless you bring them yourself you won't reliably have access to left-handed scissors, but also knitting and other things where he'd follow a pattern with an image, because it's hard to mentally flip it around. But with things like writing and eating, she said there's no harm in using his left hand. My husband prefers a particular type of bic pen: he says that many pens don't work well for left-handers, because left-handers push the pen while right-handers pull the pen, and not every pen has good inkflow for pushing.
My son is only 3yo so it's still pretty early. What are your thoughts on this?
I think it's best to allow and encourage left-handed children to use their left hands as their dominant hands whenever possible. My mom is left-handed, and I'm very grateful that she knew what it was like and never tried to teach or force me to use my right hand where it didn't feel natural.
I've found that I can usually use craft scissors or paper-cutting scissors fine if the blades are straight and the handles are symmetrical, and those scissors are easy to find in stationery stores or departments. The only scissors I ever had trouble with were fabric-cutting or sewing scissors that were more clearly designed for either right-handed or left-handed use (I worked at a fabric store once, and there was only 1 pair of left-handed scissors at the fabric-cutting counter that I had to find when it was my turn to cut fabric.)
I have never tried to knit or crochet, so I don't have advice from personal experience there, but I've met left-handed knitters who found YouTube videos and patterns on the internet that met their needs.
You know, my MIL does a lot of sewing and other crafting, so I wonder if that is part of what influenced her thoughts on this! She also would have used more books than youtube, just because of her generation. I'm not myself left-handed so I don't have the experience, and I'm trying to figure out how to balance "you're made this way and that's good!" versus "ok but society isn't made for you so there are some things you're going to have to learn differently." Your perspective here is helpful, thanks.
You’re welcome! Glad I could help. If I ever have left-handed kids, I will encourage them to use their preferred (left) hands when they can. I don’t mind if a left-handed person chooses to do something right-handed themselves (I have a left-handed friend who chose to learn guitar right-handed instead of playing left-handed like me), but I don’t like it when grownups force left-handed kids to use their right hands instead
Do you think there is space for "it's unfortunate but true that society isn't built for people like you, so there are advantages to learning how to do x or y thing right-handed, even though it feels unnatural to you"? (This is where my MIL was coming from with regard to scissors.) Or, in your experience, is that not really an issue (except for minor things, like needing to hunt down LH scissors to cut fabric)?
We just potty trained my toddler and it's been surprising to me that public toilets and sinks are just way too big for little people to use
I *can* hold him over the toilet...and then lift him to allow him to wash his hands ....but not ideal
Something that I want to do to make my apartment more accessible for one of my older friends (in his mid-60's) is to vacuum my living room carpet regularly. This friend suffers from back pain, and it's sometimes more comfortable for him to lie flat on a carpeted floor than it is for him to sit on a chair or couch, so I want my carpet to be clean for him.