"The aim of a refuge is to make space to offer an open, joyful witness, not to pull up the ladder behind you." YES! This is what I'm trying bit-by-bit to form in my community, which had a rather devastating last year, but this, I think, is why I love so much what Elrond made Rivendell into: you get the sense every time it comes up that /anyone/ who needed a refuge could show up there and be made welcome, and that even though it was carefully hidden to keep its people safe, people blundering into it just when they needed that safety happened more often than you'd think.
That's a wonderful observation about Rivendell! My husband and I just finished the LOTR movie series, as well as The Hobbit series... so it's beauty is fresh in my mind.
Feb 22, 2022·edited Feb 22, 2022Liked by Leah Libresco Sargeant
My husband and I are reading "Laurus" together.... I'm slowly reading through "The Rights Of Women" and "The Cost Of Discipleship".... also listening to "Perelandra" as I make my way through the Space Trilogy (it's been a few years).
Ohhhh--I have only read the first 2 of the Space Trilogy. I LOVED them, though! It's already been so long!
Yay RE "The Cost of Discipleship." I remember starting "Life Together," and the first time--wow, it was SO intense. I put it down. Much later, I got my hands on it again, and was like, "I think I can read this now." Didn't finish it though... Well, discussions of books-left-unfinished is maybe not a great default--but thank you for bringing Bonhoffer into salience for me!
Life Together is certainly dense but very good! I'm finding that The Cost of Discipleship is just as slow to get through but only because every other paragraph is worthy of reflection. I've been wanting to get back into a couple Bonhoeffer books we've had sitting on our shelves! (We also have Sex & Money by Tripp, as you mentioned, and was actually just thinking the other day that I should pick it up. I also tried Klara and The Sun but somehow could not get into it after about a third of the way, but people I admire love the book!!)
Since Dorothy Sayers got mentioned, I have to recommend all her mysteries. And it is mandatory to read them in order. There are actually some very other-feministy topics, come to think of it, especially with the character of Harriet Vane. Best non-Harriet mystery: Murder Must Advertise. Best Harriet mystery: Gaudy Night.
This is perhaps an odd follow up, but a girlfriend of mine recommended a bio of St. Therese of Lisieux by Ida Gorres ("The Hidden Face"). It humanizes Therese in a way that was very helpful for me, distinguishing between the elements of her life that were holy from those that were merely products of her time.
And, for something with a sad streak that is still mostly warm, fuzzy, and funny, I'm reading "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" right now. It is better than the first time, and it was good even then!
Ooof, I would not be able to read your list while nursing!! My nursing reading tends to be biography/memoir and humor - I will tread carefully into fiction if I don't think it's going to be too intense, because I'm a sensitive reader/watcher even without breastfeeding hormones! During my last postpartum period I started reading the Swallows and Amazons series by Arthur Ransome, and I also discovered Dorothy Sayers (I know, I know, I'm late to her but she was worth waiting for!) One book I would like to propose for Other Feminisms is The Minority Body by Elizabeth Barnes. I'm intrigued by the theory that disability is difference from the norm, not an inherently defective state. I bet someone else in this group has read it and I'd love to hear reviews!
I've been slowly reading "Moominland Midwinter" aloud to my children. I don't know if they enjoy it (the eldest is only 5) but I do. Most of the "Tales from Moominvalley" are good, too.
Other reading material hasn't been enjoyable, since it's been about repairing or replacing appliances. Fixing stuff up can be fun. Being an inadequate housekeeper even when all appliances are working, then having a series of appliance failures: less fun.
"Who Will Comfort Toffle?" was one of my favorite books growing up, and I loved the Moominland series as well. My 4 year old may actually enjoy them! I'm also in the same boat about appliances and couldn't agree more on the 'less fun'...
This reminds me that it's past time I reread The Hobbit. Late winter is a good season to break out the comfort-books of childhood.
Right now, I'm reading "The Valley of Amazement" by Amy Tan. (A substantial portion of it is set in a courtesan house. Several years ago, I tried reading it, but reached the point where the older, experienced courtesan was instructing a young girl--just in the psychological aspects of which song-poems she would learn and why--and fled from it.)
I'm also reading "Sex and Money: Pleasures that Leave you Empty and Grace that Satisfies," by Paul David Tripp. (He's very counseling-y and very rooted in scripture.) And I got out Ender's Shadow. And I have "Klara and the Sun"!
And that's what I'd rec for you--"Klara and the Sun"! I read about it here: https://farefwd.com/index.php/2021/06/09/klara-and-the-sun/ So far, it has not disappointed. It raises questions about worship, knowledge, empathy, and... ohhh, one of Klara's chief characteristics is CURIOSITY.
Another rec: Have you read Cherryh? Like, the "Foreigner" series? (I have not. But my hubbie has, and I understand it's a very... mathy? ...series? :) )
Awwww! Favorite Ender moments/things, Analisa? (Mine is possibly when he confides in Bean. But maybe that was just b/c I was so happy for Bean--I don't know!)
Huh. I realized that the fact I didn't read Ender's Game till I was an ADULT maybe shapes things. So I "latched on to" Ender as a ROLE MODEL for servant leadership through a trying/crisis-y situation! (We can have male role models, right?!)
Also--"Speaker for the Dead"--hmm! Thanks for the rec--the concept sure was gorgeous. (Full disclosure: I also have "Shadow of the Giant" out from the library, and it's been stinking fun seeing Petra, Bean, Peter, et. al. as adults trying to find their feet in a world gone weird.)
It's been 20 years since I read the series, as a young adult, so I remember general impressions more than moments. Certainly the twist at the end of Ender's Game is a favorite. I love a good story about a moral/ethical dilemma, and Orson Scott Card's LDS faith just infuses all of his writing with that. But Speaker just left me at this point with a wonderful, warm feeling of community and the way things should be.
I know it's been a while since this post but I was reading Leah's post in First Things on Encanto and the Benedict Option and I really appreciated it. I have a personal question that I struggle with on this topic as a non-christian who has very well intentioned christian family and has this dynamic play out in my life. As much as this may be the goal - "the aim of a refuge is to make space to offer an open, joyful witness, not to pull up the ladder behind you." - how does this actually look in practice and do people have good examples of this? To put a bit more context to my question, I would say that I have a very good relationship with my christian in laws and they accept me and my husband and love us, although we are non christian. We often discuss faith, philosophical disagreements and have deep conversations. However when the rubber meets the road, I find it hard to overcome the christian/non christian, us/them framework. Currently we are navigating an unfortunate situation of sexual inappropriateness by a family member. Not using real names but the family member (Ruth) who has been impacted is not a christian and the perpetrator (Ryan) is. Ruth has been confiding in my husband and I and has been asking us to advocate on her behalf. We have felt at many points in this conflict that ultimately our opinions and suggestions don't matter and don't hold moral weight because we are not christian. This is just one particular example but I think it gets at the difficulty of these dynamics and relationships. If anyone is still reading this post and has thoughts, I would really welcome them, especially from the christian perspective!
I'm really sorry about the weight of that divide. It's something I experience, too (from the other side) and I don't think it's totally fixable. Disagreeing about what's true *does* make it hard to talk about big things/feel fully united with someone.
But, if it's a help, Christians believe that the natural law is accessible to *everyone* whether or not they believe that God is the reason for it. So I can talk to non-Christian friends to get advice about certain things, relying on their perspective and valuing their input.
I really appreciate you acknowledging that you think it may not be fixable. I feel this way but I do feel a reluctance from my christian family to admit that and pretend the divide does not exist because of their ability to love us. Love isn't everything though and as you say full unity is where the cracks start to show. I think it is unattainable in some regards too but also wish it could be overcome! I don't know much about the natural law and haven't heard my christian family speak in those terms but will definitely look into it!
I think the divide can be an expression of love (a frustrating one!) not a contradiction of it. You want the people you love to share in the things that you love and that are true, and it's painful (on both sides!) when that's not true. It's *more* painful because you love someone—it would be more endurable from a stranger.
I love recommending books, so I can't resist the invitation. And I will pick from French literature because I'm French This makes it harder to find something suitable, as you seem to be in a mood for lighter and more joyful reading, and French literature is notoriously short on that.
My go to recommandation is my favorite novel ever, the Horseman on the roof by Jean Giono. It's not a particularly light story, as it is set during a cholera epidemic in 1830's France. But it has colorful characters, a nice love story in undertones and it is amazingly written - the prose is musical and flowing, and strangely manage to give a strong feeling of real physical presence although the imagery is often completely surrealistic. When Giono describes Provence's Summer, you feel the heat - which is amazing for a novel, but may make it a bit hard to read, as choleric people die gruesome deaths...
However Giono wrote a couple of lighter novels in his early life : Hill of Destiny, Second Harvest, Blue Boy, the Song of the World and Joy of my Heart's Desire are all great and may better correspond to what you want now (but please keep a tab on the Horseman and Giono's other masterpiece A King Alone).
It is actually amazing how hard it is to recommend a classical French novel which is not either completely depressing or brutally tragic, or contemplating the inexorable passage of time and history, or the dissolution of all morality in war... There is nothing I can think of that looks even remotely like Austen or Dickens...
Do you like free verse poetry ? Then there are three books by Péguy I can recommend heartily : The Mystery of the Charity of Joan of Arc, The Mystery of the Holy Innocents, and The Portico of the Mystery of the Second Virtue. And while I'm at it The Tidings Brought to Mary, by Claudel, is a strange and fascinating play about virtue, sacrifice and renouncement (see what I was saying about French literature ?).
"The aim of a refuge is to make space to offer an open, joyful witness, not to pull up the ladder behind you." YES! This is what I'm trying bit-by-bit to form in my community, which had a rather devastating last year, but this, I think, is why I love so much what Elrond made Rivendell into: you get the sense every time it comes up that /anyone/ who needed a refuge could show up there and be made welcome, and that even though it was carefully hidden to keep its people safe, people blundering into it just when they needed that safety happened more often than you'd think.
That's a wonderful observation about Rivendell! My husband and I just finished the LOTR movie series, as well as The Hobbit series... so it's beauty is fresh in my mind.
My husband and I are reading "Laurus" together.... I'm slowly reading through "The Rights Of Women" and "The Cost Of Discipleship".... also listening to "Perelandra" as I make my way through the Space Trilogy (it's been a few years).
Ohhhh--I have only read the first 2 of the Space Trilogy. I LOVED them, though! It's already been so long!
Yay RE "The Cost of Discipleship." I remember starting "Life Together," and the first time--wow, it was SO intense. I put it down. Much later, I got my hands on it again, and was like, "I think I can read this now." Didn't finish it though... Well, discussions of books-left-unfinished is maybe not a great default--but thank you for bringing Bonhoffer into salience for me!
Life Together is certainly dense but very good! I'm finding that The Cost of Discipleship is just as slow to get through but only because every other paragraph is worthy of reflection. I've been wanting to get back into a couple Bonhoeffer books we've had sitting on our shelves! (We also have Sex & Money by Tripp, as you mentioned, and was actually just thinking the other day that I should pick it up. I also tried Klara and The Sun but somehow could not get into it after about a third of the way, but people I admire love the book!!)
Since Dorothy Sayers got mentioned, I have to recommend all her mysteries. And it is mandatory to read them in order. There are actually some very other-feministy topics, come to think of it, especially with the character of Harriet Vane. Best non-Harriet mystery: Murder Must Advertise. Best Harriet mystery: Gaudy Night.
This is perhaps an odd follow up, but a girlfriend of mine recommended a bio of St. Therese of Lisieux by Ida Gorres ("The Hidden Face"). It humanizes Therese in a way that was very helpful for me, distinguishing between the elements of her life that were holy from those that were merely products of her time.
And, for something with a sad streak that is still mostly warm, fuzzy, and funny, I'm reading "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" right now. It is better than the first time, and it was good even then!
Ooof, I would not be able to read your list while nursing!! My nursing reading tends to be biography/memoir and humor - I will tread carefully into fiction if I don't think it's going to be too intense, because I'm a sensitive reader/watcher even without breastfeeding hormones! During my last postpartum period I started reading the Swallows and Amazons series by Arthur Ransome, and I also discovered Dorothy Sayers (I know, I know, I'm late to her but she was worth waiting for!) One book I would like to propose for Other Feminisms is The Minority Body by Elizabeth Barnes. I'm intrigued by the theory that disability is difference from the norm, not an inherently defective state. I bet someone else in this group has read it and I'd love to hear reviews!
Oooh, Minority Body sounds very good.
I've been slowly reading "Moominland Midwinter" aloud to my children. I don't know if they enjoy it (the eldest is only 5) but I do. Most of the "Tales from Moominvalley" are good, too.
Other reading material hasn't been enjoyable, since it's been about repairing or replacing appliances. Fixing stuff up can be fun. Being an inadequate housekeeper even when all appliances are working, then having a series of appliance failures: less fun.
"Who Will Comfort Toffle?" was one of my favorite books growing up, and I loved the Moominland series as well. My 4 year old may actually enjoy them! I'm also in the same boat about appliances and couldn't agree more on the 'less fun'...
This reminds me that it's past time I reread The Hobbit. Late winter is a good season to break out the comfort-books of childhood.
Right now, I'm reading "The Valley of Amazement" by Amy Tan. (A substantial portion of it is set in a courtesan house. Several years ago, I tried reading it, but reached the point where the older, experienced courtesan was instructing a young girl--just in the psychological aspects of which song-poems she would learn and why--and fled from it.)
I'm also reading "Sex and Money: Pleasures that Leave you Empty and Grace that Satisfies," by Paul David Tripp. (He's very counseling-y and very rooted in scripture.) And I got out Ender's Shadow. And I have "Klara and the Sun"!
And that's what I'd rec for you--"Klara and the Sun"! I read about it here: https://farefwd.com/index.php/2021/06/09/klara-and-the-sun/ So far, it has not disappointed. It raises questions about worship, knowledge, empathy, and... ohhh, one of Klara's chief characteristics is CURIOSITY.
Another rec: Have you read Cherryh? Like, the "Foreigner" series? (I have not. But my hubbie has, and I understand it's a very... mathy? ...series? :) )
Ender will forever be my first love. Speaker for the Dead is the most beautiful book I've ever read.
Awwww! Favorite Ender moments/things, Analisa? (Mine is possibly when he confides in Bean. But maybe that was just b/c I was so happy for Bean--I don't know!)
Huh. I realized that the fact I didn't read Ender's Game till I was an ADULT maybe shapes things. So I "latched on to" Ender as a ROLE MODEL for servant leadership through a trying/crisis-y situation! (We can have male role models, right?!)
Also--"Speaker for the Dead"--hmm! Thanks for the rec--the concept sure was gorgeous. (Full disclosure: I also have "Shadow of the Giant" out from the library, and it's been stinking fun seeing Petra, Bean, Peter, et. al. as adults trying to find their feet in a world gone weird.)
It's been 20 years since I read the series, as a young adult, so I remember general impressions more than moments. Certainly the twist at the end of Ender's Game is a favorite. I love a good story about a moral/ethical dilemma, and Orson Scott Card's LDS faith just infuses all of his writing with that. But Speaker just left me at this point with a wonderful, warm feeling of community and the way things should be.
I know it's been a while since this post but I was reading Leah's post in First Things on Encanto and the Benedict Option and I really appreciated it. I have a personal question that I struggle with on this topic as a non-christian who has very well intentioned christian family and has this dynamic play out in my life. As much as this may be the goal - "the aim of a refuge is to make space to offer an open, joyful witness, not to pull up the ladder behind you." - how does this actually look in practice and do people have good examples of this? To put a bit more context to my question, I would say that I have a very good relationship with my christian in laws and they accept me and my husband and love us, although we are non christian. We often discuss faith, philosophical disagreements and have deep conversations. However when the rubber meets the road, I find it hard to overcome the christian/non christian, us/them framework. Currently we are navigating an unfortunate situation of sexual inappropriateness by a family member. Not using real names but the family member (Ruth) who has been impacted is not a christian and the perpetrator (Ryan) is. Ruth has been confiding in my husband and I and has been asking us to advocate on her behalf. We have felt at many points in this conflict that ultimately our opinions and suggestions don't matter and don't hold moral weight because we are not christian. This is just one particular example but I think it gets at the difficulty of these dynamics and relationships. If anyone is still reading this post and has thoughts, I would really welcome them, especially from the christian perspective!
I'm really sorry about the weight of that divide. It's something I experience, too (from the other side) and I don't think it's totally fixable. Disagreeing about what's true *does* make it hard to talk about big things/feel fully united with someone.
But, if it's a help, Christians believe that the natural law is accessible to *everyone* whether or not they believe that God is the reason for it. So I can talk to non-Christian friends to get advice about certain things, relying on their perspective and valuing their input.
I really appreciate you acknowledging that you think it may not be fixable. I feel this way but I do feel a reluctance from my christian family to admit that and pretend the divide does not exist because of their ability to love us. Love isn't everything though and as you say full unity is where the cracks start to show. I think it is unattainable in some regards too but also wish it could be overcome! I don't know much about the natural law and haven't heard my christian family speak in those terms but will definitely look into it!
I think the divide can be an expression of love (a frustrating one!) not a contradiction of it. You want the people you love to share in the things that you love and that are true, and it's painful (on both sides!) when that's not true. It's *more* painful because you love someone—it would be more endurable from a stranger.
Hmm, I agree with this too!
I love recommending books, so I can't resist the invitation. And I will pick from French literature because I'm French This makes it harder to find something suitable, as you seem to be in a mood for lighter and more joyful reading, and French literature is notoriously short on that.
My go to recommandation is my favorite novel ever, the Horseman on the roof by Jean Giono. It's not a particularly light story, as it is set during a cholera epidemic in 1830's France. But it has colorful characters, a nice love story in undertones and it is amazingly written - the prose is musical and flowing, and strangely manage to give a strong feeling of real physical presence although the imagery is often completely surrealistic. When Giono describes Provence's Summer, you feel the heat - which is amazing for a novel, but may make it a bit hard to read, as choleric people die gruesome deaths...
However Giono wrote a couple of lighter novels in his early life : Hill of Destiny, Second Harvest, Blue Boy, the Song of the World and Joy of my Heart's Desire are all great and may better correspond to what you want now (but please keep a tab on the Horseman and Giono's other masterpiece A King Alone).
It is actually amazing how hard it is to recommend a classical French novel which is not either completely depressing or brutally tragic, or contemplating the inexorable passage of time and history, or the dissolution of all morality in war... There is nothing I can think of that looks even remotely like Austen or Dickens...
Do you like free verse poetry ? Then there are three books by Péguy I can recommend heartily : The Mystery of the Charity of Joan of Arc, The Mystery of the Holy Innocents, and The Portico of the Mystery of the Second Virtue. And while I'm at it The Tidings Brought to Mary, by Claudel, is a strange and fascinating play about virtue, sacrifice and renouncement (see what I was saying about French literature ?).