Interesting what Elizabeth says about The Perilous Guard; it's good to start thinking about what kind of children's books and movies I might like my future kids to read. Having struggled a lot with gender identity issues, I see how I was holding myself, as a boy, to female standards (of beauty and behavior) that caused me to ignore my own natural beauty and goodness. I really was struggling with both male and female standards at the same time. I can be feminine as a man, yes, but in more ways I didn't even want to think about how being male can lend itself to a different kind of aesthetic and that masculinity has its own goodness.
But I've lately been trying to think, how might I have avoided these struggles in the first place or how boys might avoid them today? It's hard to say whether the skills I developed here would necessarily serve to help someone else unless they're already in the thick of these struggles and are wanting to gain these skills. And it's hard to have a clear sense of what might have made a good male role model for me as a boy.
If anyone is interested in a film that explores very similar themes from the mother’s perspective, I cannot recommend Everything Everywhere All At Once enough. I saw it last night and I’m still reeling. I laughed! I cried about the love and trauma that can exist within one family! I came away with one of the silliest jokes about Ratatouille I’ve ever heard, which is completely inexplicable outside of the film’s context!
It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea for a variety of reasons: it’s zany and complex and very purposely TOO MUCH, and at times the humor could charitably be described as… Chaucerian. I suspect the plot line about the daughter’s sexual orientation may not land well with some of the readers of this newsletter for reasons I understand but disagree with, but I also think it handles the issue with real sensitivity toward the perspectives of the mother and grandfather that you don’t often see portrayed in film.
But oh man, a film about inter-generational immigrant familial trauma that centers the viewpoint of a middle-aged mom? Where she also does Kung Fu? That centers on the power of unconditional love? Just incredible. I loved it, and I’m going to end up seeing it again.
I'm so glad you posted about Everything Everwhere! I've been excited about the movie since I saw the trailer, but didn't realize it was out yet. Caught it last night and SO GLAD I did. Just incredible is exactly right.
I love the Perilous Gard as a girl and still do, but I think that interpretation of it is looking at the plot and Kate through a funhouse mirror. Kate is clumsy, and she is trained hard to be not clumsy, but she gets trained because she has been sneaking around trying to find Christopher when she should be sleeping and then falls asleep in the hall and blames it on being clumsy.
Interesting what Elizabeth says about The Perilous Guard; it's good to start thinking about what kind of children's books and movies I might like my future kids to read. Having struggled a lot with gender identity issues, I see how I was holding myself, as a boy, to female standards (of beauty and behavior) that caused me to ignore my own natural beauty and goodness. I really was struggling with both male and female standards at the same time. I can be feminine as a man, yes, but in more ways I didn't even want to think about how being male can lend itself to a different kind of aesthetic and that masculinity has its own goodness.
But I've lately been trying to think, how might I have avoided these struggles in the first place or how boys might avoid them today? It's hard to say whether the skills I developed here would necessarily serve to help someone else unless they're already in the thick of these struggles and are wanting to gain these skills. And it's hard to have a clear sense of what might have made a good male role model for me as a boy.
If anyone is interested in a film that explores very similar themes from the mother’s perspective, I cannot recommend Everything Everywhere All At Once enough. I saw it last night and I’m still reeling. I laughed! I cried about the love and trauma that can exist within one family! I came away with one of the silliest jokes about Ratatouille I’ve ever heard, which is completely inexplicable outside of the film’s context!
It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea for a variety of reasons: it’s zany and complex and very purposely TOO MUCH, and at times the humor could charitably be described as… Chaucerian. I suspect the plot line about the daughter’s sexual orientation may not land well with some of the readers of this newsletter for reasons I understand but disagree with, but I also think it handles the issue with real sensitivity toward the perspectives of the mother and grandfather that you don’t often see portrayed in film.
But oh man, a film about inter-generational immigrant familial trauma that centers the viewpoint of a middle-aged mom? Where she also does Kung Fu? That centers on the power of unconditional love? Just incredible. I loved it, and I’m going to end up seeing it again.
I'm so glad you posted about Everything Everwhere! I've been excited about the movie since I saw the trailer, but didn't realize it was out yet. Caught it last night and SO GLAD I did. Just incredible is exactly right.
I wish I could see it! I need my baby to go longer between nursing before I can see a movie in the theaters.
I love the Perilous Gard as a girl and still do, but I think that interpretation of it is looking at the plot and Kate through a funhouse mirror. Kate is clumsy, and she is trained hard to be not clumsy, but she gets trained because she has been sneaking around trying to find Christopher when she should be sleeping and then falls asleep in the hall and blames it on being clumsy.